Who needs words anyway?

Woke up this morning to this...

Altogether, now: "That's...amazing!"


Another over-used word to chew on is "absolutely." Want to hear my theory about this one? What do you mean, "no"? Did you mean to say "yes"? Or did you really mean to say "absolutely"?

"Absolutely" takes longer to say than "yes", which is why it's used more as a substitute for "yes" in spoken English than written. It buys people time to think what they're going to say next. Maybe it means they secretly think "no" and so need more time to find reasons for their false agreement. "Yes" doesn't have the same, multi-plosive appeal that "absolutely" does. And I challenge you to find the phrase "multi-plosive appeal" in any other Dictionary Corner.

I've heard a new variation on the "absolutely-yes" phenomenon (if I may be so bold to call it that, and I may, because it's my blog, and chances are no one will ever read it anyway). We'll call this the "drop-intro absolutely". Why? Because the speaker doesn't say "absolutely", they say "ahhhbsolutely", as if the word gets stuck in their throat. This new variant of the "absolutely-yes" phenomenon is more disturbing, because now the speaker wants to use a word even longer than "absolutely".

So I'm starting a campaign to replace the drop-intro word "ahhhbsolutely" with a similar-meaning word that gives you that extra syllable you're so desperately craving. It's "indubitably". Try saying it now. It has massive multi-plosive appeal and the "ably" ending gives it a lovely wobbly flourish. Tell it to your friends and colleagues. Get your children to repeat it. Train the family pet. The great thing about "indubitably" is that, once it ceases to be long enough, you can replace with "innnnnndubitably".