The Met Office has only gone and predicted a good summer. Again. The only predictable thing about the British weather are forecasters predicting it wrongly. In the same way that Sian Lloyd always describes the North Sea coast as "eastern fringes", so meteorologists just can't help but blurt out "we're going to have a good summer" every spring, before quietly slipping under an Atlantic warm front when it all goes Michael Fish. Have they never heard of cricket?
Their forecasts are too prescriptive, too, which is not my experience of British weather.
Why do we always have "mist and fog", and never "fog and mist"?
Why have we never had "spots and spits" of rain?
And why is the weather never a "mixture of scattered showers and sunny spells", but always a "mixture of sunny spells and scattered showers"? Not much of a mixture, is it?
If I was a weatherman, I'd spice up that autocue. We'd have fist and mog patches, for starters. Then we'd have conglomerates of ultra violet light and cumulo-nimbus evaporated moisture formations frequently bearing precipitation. Finally, it would piss all over London and the sun would shine elsewhere. For months.
If only I was a weatherman!
1 comment:
Mist or Fog? Reminds me of a story about a friend's driving test. At the end of the test came the questions.
"And what would you do if you encountered Mr Fog?"
"I'd turn on Mr Headlights and Mr Windscreen Wipers!"
"Errrr thanks. I said mist OR fog...."
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